Do I look romantic as I was proposing ? I put an end on this social crap.

It is sad, pathetic... but true.
There is a time in the life of a single straight poor man that things start to get complicated. If he hasn't friends to talk about football ( soccer ) or play poker his social life gets reduced to the rare opportunities to go out that appear out of nowhere.
I hate football and to me playing poker is pretty much a similar activity than making a pact with the devil. So I have no male friends and don't miss then at all, is a relief to do not have to talk about cars and sports.
My social life after 30 something years old got pretty lame and I didn't do anything to improve it. I had a nasty past and did everything a sick mind can imagine and more. I am not proud, I got exhausted of it all.
But last Saturday I had this opportunity to go out with a nice woman after to go to a party in the evening. But the invitation only showed up in the afternoon.
It was unexpected as I didn't have intention to not even go to the little party in the evening.
Well, I am a Latin tropical man and grew up under this dogma that if a pussy calls, you attend making no questions, only go there and do your macho business. Always alert as a soldier.
It was late. I decided to wear something light as it is summer here. But I had to see if these were the right clothes for the occasion.
Few weeks ago I did the favor to break the mirror of my bedroom so the only mirror now is the tiny one in my studio. The dark spots you see aren't any attempt to create a vintage effect, the mirror exists for almost 70 years.
I couldn't stand up in front of it to see my clothes. I had to cringe. Not able to see I decided to pick up my small camera and take some shots.
Not only this.
I had to cut my hair and see how much, if you follow my blog you already know that I cut it myself doing two pig tails and cut with no mercy.
This pair of shoes isn't the one I intended to use, this is the one I use to go to supermarket. The new and good one is all dusty and I had to polish before to leave.
The belt too, the one I used is old , my brand new one is in my closet and I had to pierce a new hole with nail and hammer.
Not saying I still had to take a shower and brush my teeth and shave.
After to have taken the first pic I had a weird feeling looking to the image on the monitor. Something was very wrong.
The second pic already shows my unhappy face towards this puzzle of what I was feeling about the way I looked.
The third pic gave me real cramps:
"DO I LOOK AS I AM PROPOSING!!?" NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL !!! '"
You must to think it is ridiculous but I got in panic.
I even tried to take a pic on the sofa but wasn't able to see anything so decided to go back to my bedroom and change clothes.
On the way to shower I turned on and gave up about going out.
The image of me on my knees as I was asking made me really depressed.
.No shining new shoes.
.No cutting hair.
.No shower.
.No new hole on the brand new belt.
I spent the night in front of the TV watching Gran Torino eating pop corn with my dogs barking to the neighbors at the gate. And the most important: Saving my sweat blessed money.
It is sad , pathetic... but true.
But today I received a Christmas card from a friend and it was very nice of her. I love this girl... and love the fact she is at the other side of the country and will never bother me to go out accepting me the way I am, unsympathetic, anti-social, judgmental, not romantic and annoying. Uff... free.